Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
