tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
