3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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