The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
