i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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