fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We are two peas in an std pod
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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