Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
