I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
