So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
