Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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