I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
