i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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