the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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