so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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