May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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