Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Vodka?
Forever.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
