shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Rumble strips road head = magical
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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