Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I smell like Dick and happiness
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
