In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
