He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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