I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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