I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
