you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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