Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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