I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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