and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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