So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
