Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hate all girls vehemently.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
only you would photoshop your dick
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
