I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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