it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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