Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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