Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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