WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
