it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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