She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
