Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
