He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
