I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
