He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
