We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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