I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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