if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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