he shaved USA in his pubs
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
