fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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