I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
