Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
