genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We had sex on a dog bed..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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