"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
