I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
