hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
barbara walters just said penis...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
