you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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