you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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