Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
